Relationship?

I feel like the more I try to do what’s right the more I just fuck everything up. I’m exhausted with life. I am literally drained physically and emotionally. I feel so confused with because I know what I want and need, I just don’t know how to communicate it. I guess that’s why I’m human. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I want to just lock myself in a room and never come out so that I don’t have to speak ever to another person. Like I should stay single and alone so then I wouldn’t mess anyone else up with my issues. I keep thinking this is this is the healthiest I have been since college. Minus the constant sinus pain, that's just a life consequence. But I am thinking maybe I have a ways to go before I am healthy enough to try a relationship.

Zoo

Life is a zoo lately. I struggle lately to find faith. I pray to the Lord and I know He hears me and will answer in His perfect timing. I know there is a bigger picture that I can't see, but sometimes the daily grind can be monotonous. It's overwhelmingly dull. I have a good life. So why the funk? I'm not sure just yet. More to come...