January 6, 2013. I am thankful for Ryan. I'm thankful for a job, a roof over our heads, a car to drive to work, heat. With the year I had in 2012, I am thankful for a fresh start in 2013.
Here we are five months later and after heartbreak for the millionth
time I find myself in love again.
Somewhere we fall unavoidably. Or
maybe it’s just me. How can we fall in
love and out and in again in less than one year. It sounds like a Taylor Swift song. Yes, life is all just a hop skip and a jump
away from a country song. All I need now
is a for my car to breakdown and Mya to runaway. So back to the issues, I find myself in love
again with a different man. A
good man. What?!?! I know you must be
thinking, there is no such thing. And I
don’t know how to tell the difference after so many times I’ve been
fooled. So I forbid myself from speaking
to anyone for fear of acting the fool again.
I want this to be different, I want this to be real. But I’m trying so hard to be everything to
everyone. The perfect girlfriend, the
perfect daughter, the perfect sister, friend, boss, employee, co-worker,
Christian, Dog Mommy to Mya, I literally feel exhausted just trying to do the
right thing everyday. And sometimes I
feel like I can’t be the perfect girlfriend and be the perfect friend. I try to everyone, text everyone, Dice
everyone, be involved in every detail, work 40 hours, cook and clean, attend
bible study… the list goes on. Plus, I
have to keep up with the X Factor. It’s
quite the busy life I lead.
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