Patience is a Virtue

He said he loved me. Said it wouldn’t be like this forever, the situation we found ourselves in was temporary. He talked about the future. Our future, together. I don’t know whether or not to believe it was all lies. I can’t even breathe. My chest hurts and I think I can literally feel my heart breaking. Three days have past since I wrote these first few sentences and I still can’t breathe. My chest still hurts. My mind still reels. I do feel better today then yesterday so I have hope that tomorrow will be even better. This broken heart unlike anything I have ever felt. It would have been such a great love story, somehow, in another life it all worked out. I trust that everything is filtered through Gods hands so I know that the love I fell in was real but He has something even better. I will wait patiently.

To erase or not to erase?

I spent every night at home last week. Monday thru Friday. It is true. Time makes things better. I don't believe that time heals wounds. God heals wounds. But everyday it gets easier to be without him. I'm sure that's God's work too now that I think of it. He heals broken hearts. Everyday I find it easier to not call or text him. I find myself not wondering if I will hear from him. But I still can't bring myself to watch Sons of Anarchy without him. So I guess that means part of me is still holding on. There are 9 episodes to watch. That's a lot of restraint. Maybe this weekend? Probably not though. I keep having to erase other shows but I can't erase it. And I can't watch it.