An expensive lesson

He said to me this time, "I really do not or did not try to f*ck with you! I really didn't think I was leading you on tho! I don't like hurting you so I just thought that I should speak up now befor things go heavier!" That was his exact message. I should have known. Being friends is something woman say when they want to trick guys into getting back together by allowing them to see how amazing they are by remaining friends. I keep putting him on this pedestal, thinking he's this great guy because he has treated me the best out of the revolving door of losers that I have been through this past year/life. Turns out he's worse because he's in camouflage. I tell him that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, I don't understand him. I'm lost in emotions, not sure if I should be sad or angry or relieved. I'm not really surprised. The only thing that would surprise me would be someone who stayed. I knew this would happen, I told him this would happen. I am fantastic. He did see that when I was there. He kept saying, I want to kiss you, please stay. Stay with me, I miss you. Holding my hand and hugging me. Calling me babe. And like the woman I don't want to be, I ate it up. I want to be loved and love in return. The problem is I usually offer love without being loved in return. I allowed myself to be led on. I didn't stay though and I wouldn't let him kiss me because I knew this would happen. So I am angry because I was right. I am angry because he is exactly who I thought he was. But I'm not sad. Embarrassed for being tricked again, pissed that it cost me $350.00 because my car got towed at his shitty apartment that I previously vowed never to go to again, but not sad. An expensive lesson to learn. Next time I would rather just pay the money and hold onto my heart.