Moving On

I was missing Buzz today. More than usual. I think more than anything I miss the idea of him. I'm actually doing really good. I am sad with the way things ended but I guess that is part of life. We don't ever get to choose how things go for us. As much as I may have wanted it to work it just wasn't in the cards for us. I must say that I am enjoying the woman that I have become after Buzz. I am finally getting back into a good place. Things have been rocky, but I am really moving forward. I love that he inspired me to be clean. I am aware of the house more than I was before. I still need a little help, but the first step is admitting that you have a problem :) I have made so many changes to my place. The energy is changing from all the changes I have made and it's funny that he's never even been here to see them. That was part of the problem, he could never see what I was doing for him. I'm finally getting back into the swing of things. I'm myself again with friends and I'm back spending more time with family. I'm loving the time I spend at home and the dogs are under control. Pansy is off the counters and sleeping in her bed in her room. She still sits on the kitchen table sometimes but I'm working on it. I am getting back into my groove at work. I'm on my phone calls, answering the cell and chatting with little old ladies for twenty minutes on the phone at 9:30 at night about the difference between smoked and grilled chicken. I had an appointment today with my new florist and I feel confident about my vision for Bridal Preview. I'm excited about the design and I feel good about the new vendor relationship. I had lost sight of how happy this life makes me. I forgot how it felt to be excited about the planning and the details to make my vision come to life. I'm finally scrapbooking again and doing some of my best work ever. I figure the writing will come too. Baby steps.