I can’t stop thinking about him. Why? He sucks. He isn’t worth anything. So why do I care? I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I had a dream about him last night. I fantasize about the opportunity to seek vengeance. I know it’s the wrong thing to do but lately I’m obsessed. I am so angry that he just gets to leave. Just walk out on me. Who does that? He literally looked me in the eyes said not to worry he was going for ice cream and would be back in an hour and then never came back. And yet I’m the one stuck thinking about him. I hope that in some perfect world he is sitting around thinking how bad he fucked up. I know that’s wrong too but I can’t help it. I so desperately want him to feel bad like I have. Feel hurt like I have. Feel scared like I have. And then today I find out the love of my life is having a baby with another woman. It just seems like everyone is living what I used to think should be my life. So where does this leave me? What happens next is anyone's guess.
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