I am terrified of this situation I got myself into. I am not quite sure I can even find the words to say exactly what I am feeling. I like him so much I am terrified he will leave. I am trying to keep myself calm enough not to freak out like the crazy bitch I am. But I'm afraid it's wait too late for that. I already freaked out a little bit. It's like I could feel myself getting a little batty and I couldn’t stop it. I'm still not really sure why. I don't feel like it should be all my fault, but I'm positive it probably is. Or maybe I just think it is because it always was. I had a very long chat with a very close friend tonight and she really opened my eyes to what I am doing in this relationship. My past is not his fault. What happens in the past should stay exactly there. He is not Buzz. He will not do the same things that Buzz did. He will not say the things Buzz said. This situation is completely new. Our relationship is completely new. I can't keep punishing him for Buzz's mistakes.
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