Chaos and Feelings

I live my life in chaos. My work is chaos. From the moment I walk in the door everyone is telling me things about work, about life, about relationships, you name it, I hear it. And not just from coworkers and management, but my clients. I feel like I have to call them clients now that I no longer work in weddings. Business executives and chair people. Not brides. Clients. I'm so professional. Or I sound like a high priced hooker. Wearing 4 inch stilettos, meeting with clients, and giving property tours at an airport hotel... I might as well be a high priced hooker. And I'm not that high priced... Wait... I'm definitely underpaid. But I signed on to do the job that I'm paid for and while I'm good at it, Boston told me today that my ego was getting to big for the conference table. I can't help it I'm so fantastic but I pray the Lord makes me humble because I struggled a long time in this position to get where I am. I am thankful everyday for my work. I'm proud of myself for making such positive changes over the past few months. And as that damn boy whos always on my mind would say, enough with the cheesefest. Something keeps telling me to give him a chance. I keep wanting to throw in the towl. I wear patience on my wrist but everytime our fax machine fails I want to throw it out the window in my office into the lobby in front of hotel guests. I wouldn't even feel bad about it. So I pray for patience everyday and everyday He gives me opportunities to be patient. One of these days I will get the hang of it. So back to Boston. Turns out, I adore him. He makes me crazy. Wanting to take things so slow. He's all mysterious and sexy with his East coast accent and values. I find myself having to look away cause he's so cute I am afraid I will blush, lose my cool, embarass myself, look stupid, a and b, or all of the above. He catches me off guard with things he says, tells me I'm beautiful, I smell perfect, he flirts with me, calls me Princess, and still I can't get him to ask me out more than once a month. And somehow I caught feelings. F*cking feelings. Now what am I supposed to do. I don't think they have a Rx for this.