Lord how I wish you would save me from myself sometimes. I am a crazy person. Nutty down to the core Lord and I'm sure you know this because you made me this way. I know that in God's creation we are all perfect and in an image of God. But lately I doubt that God would claim me in His perfect image. Lord, everything is different. Being an adult is hard. I want to go back to college when i could skip class and sleep on the photo processing machine at work because I was hungover. It's hard now to work 9 to 5 and come home and make dinner and go grocery shopping and be sexy and mysterious and calm and perfect all the fucking time. I am so far from perfect these days Lord, right to the curly fucking hair that is a beautiful nest I deal with daily. Lord I do love the new curly hair. It is perfect for me. I prayed tonight that you would take him from my heart, let him go into the world and be free from me. And I prayed you would free me from myself. I know people gasp now when I say I am a greatful believer in Jesus Christ but I do not care in the slightest. He saves me from myself. Accepts me for the crazy imperfect human that I am. He loves me. Without the games. Without the faux feelings. Without the facade. Amber said tonight that I am the most normal tonight that she has seen me in quite awhile. That I'm just Jessica. I'm okay with being Jessica. I was born this way.
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