Emotions

At the Beaver game I said, I don't really even know these girls. Joking with Scott. He said, "I hear you're the ringleader."
"Yeah, I guess that's right." I said with a nod. "That's why I stay sober all the time now so I can control all my bitches."
I told Jocelyn later over Facebook IM that I like Scott.
I just friended Scott. I think now that you are in a relationship and it's official we should probably be Facebook friends. I told her.
Oh good. She typed.
I heart Scott. Wait, don't tell him I said that. In fact don't let any of this leave this conversation. It destroys my bitchy don't care image. I can't have that happening.
Joce told him anyway. She doesn't really like a lot of people, she said. Feel special.

And yet he still fucked it up. That's what I get for putting my emotions out there for all to see. I gave him one chance to make her happy. To take care of her as well or better than I can. I should have known that as a man he would mess her up. Sure she's a lot to handle. We both are. But as Carrie Bradshaw put it, "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed, they are meant to be free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

Jocelyn and I were meant to run together. I got her a card once in college that had a picture of a puppy and a kitten on the front. Inside it said, "You're catty, I'm a bitch. That's why we are such good friends." We have been together ever since.