Just Friends

I talk a lot about boy/girl friendships and for good reason. I have been thinking about it a lot especially lately. I turned to one of these so called friends for help and it seems so easy for him to just ignore me. I would usually think its that woman. She tells the man who he can hang out with, when, & how long. But what kind of man lives like this. I think this is why we see so much divorce at middle age. Either the man has finally decided to be a man or the woman finally decides she has been putting up with his bullshit for too long. I never want to be this way. I never want to feel trapped. To feel so untrusting and insecure that I have to keep tabs on him all the time. Relationships scare me. I know there will be compromise but at what point do you lose who you are and who you want to be in what someone else is and what they want you to be. I have lost so many guy "friends" this past year because all of a sudden they are attached and can't be around me anymore. I don't blame them. Sometimes I feel like if they were my man I wouldn't want them around me either.