Sex and relationships... relationships and sex?

I think a man loses a little respect for a woman when it all happens so fast. Like fire, when it's so hot and powerful it burns out quickly. Whether or not you want to agree, it's true. It was too easy for him. The man that I see now and the goofy boy that came to pick me up for the Rose Festival are two very different people. G said to me that it never would have worked out. I guess that's true, he was never looking for a relationship, he was rebounding. And I guess I sort of was too. I shouldn't have got involved. It was too soon for me and I want something different. Something more than I had with Buzz or with any of the other little boys that follow me around hoping for a piece. I'm ready for something serious. A commitment and a relationship. I waited for so long with Buzz and we went back and forth and I'm still not sure what really happened or how I would define our relationship. When I was with him it was so different and so much better than anything I had ever had. I fell hard almost instantly because he is a good man. He offered me everything Buzz hadn't. And I was a sucker for it. I still don't really know what happened. It was good and then it wasn't. I know a lot of it was me. I am a lot to handle. I have been cheated on and pushed around and left alone more times than I care to say. I think a lot of that is my fault to. I set myself up for disappointment. I want what I want and I'm not good at communicating my needs and when I do it never comes out right. I have a passion and an intensity that scares even me sometimes. I feel very deeply and I love openly and give myself freely. I think that I overcompensate because I want so bad to be wanted and loved back. I tried daily to remind myself that you were not him. I can't punish G for everything Buzz did wrong. But part of me still tried. I hung around longer than I should have because I honestly thought that we could work it out. But it can't work when we are stuck on the same issues. I can't change him. He can't change me. It is what it is.