And he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. You have been healed." Mark 5:34

So I lost my voice. Lately with all my illnesses medical bills keep piling in and I can't keep up. So I work harder. Get sicker. I work in sales and having a Mariah Carey deep husky voice could work in my favor. Unless it goes completely tomorrow. Everyone thinks it's so hysterical, it's so quiet they say. Maybe no voice is God telling me to be quiet and just listen for awhile. I have been asking for guidance, trying to figure out what's next. Where do I go from here? I don't trust anyone but Jesus and my Dad. Both lifesavers. I don't even trust my own judgement anymore, I cannot tell the good ones from the bad. I love people and it's one of my biggest downfalls. I am gulible. I believe that people are good. But when I spent 10 minutes right when I walked in the office on the phone with a lady who bitched me out because her laptop got stolen from a banquet room when she left it sitting on the table with the door wide open. Now she's just vicious. This is going to be another ugly situation. Like the lady in August. Although crazy today was only a 4 or so on the crazy scale and crazy in August was like a 14. I love my job though. I really enjoy it. I have worked hard to be here. I headed home from work tonight early, 5pm, pretty early for me. I thought I would run out of gas stuck in ridiculous traffic, then drove to the farthest gas station where I thought gas would be cheaper and really it wasn't. I whispered Fill please to the gas attendant who looked at me like I was a freak. Stopped to get mail on the way in like I do everyday. Two pieces of mail: comcast and my landlord. Great, I thought. More bills I can't pay. Cleaned up outside til the slider next door opened and he stepped out. I didn't look up from hosing the patio, just turned the water off and walked back in the house without looking his direction. I washed dishes while I waited for Shawna and my nerves to calm. We walked out to go to Burgerville in my car. The keyless entry lights flash right in my neighbors window like an alert system letting him know when I leave and return. He opened the door and came out, wifeys not home, notices Shawna and pretends to look for something in the car. I speed off. I told him once I hated being in limbo, relationship limbo like I did with Buzz for so long. I never want to do that again. I still can't shake that fool. He text tonight "I Fn miss your ass ;)" Neat. Thanks. Shawna and I gab all night and I'm glad to have her company. Lately I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'm so anxious to be there and I hate it because I shouldn't have to leave cause the boy next door is a f*cktard. Shawna left and I sat on the couch to open the mail. Might as well see what the damage is. It's not a bill from the landlord, but a notice that I never signed a lease (I did, but their mistake will set me free) and my lease has defaulted to month to month, I can now give 30 days and get out of this living hell hole trapping me in the past. The answer to my prayers. I was blown away. I have been praying for guidance, the only thing keeping me here was that lease. God provides. God is faithful.