I can’t even describe how it feels. My whole body is fatigued with sadness. My chest hurts like I can literally feel my heart breaking. And I honestly believe that this is what I deserve. Well not what I deserve but my behavior earned this heartache. My mind is constantly racing and I have tried everything to make it stop. Crazy working all the time. Writing. Cleaning. Laying in the shower. I don’t remember when my house stopped feeling like home. I hate every minute that I am here. And I feel bad. I have everything I need so I should be content. My head hurts and I can’t find comfort in sleep. So I just stay awake. And pray that this feeling goes away soon.