Ryan says on a good week, I'm only crazy 5 out of 7 days. I had one of those crazy days yesterday. I may have had one glass of wine too many and noticed my ex in the call log at 1 AM. And I know you're thinking, how did you have his number? But he is one of the few permanently programmed in my head. Unfortunately. I can't believe I undid all my hard work of staying strong. Freaking booze. Of course he didn't answer and I can't honestly remember if I left a message. Could be worse though, he's never going to respond anyway so I never have to know. Is it a blessing or a curse? He needs an opportunity check because he's about to lose me for a second time. I'm not his girlfriend and I'm barely his friend there is literally nothing keeping me tied to this guy and I don't know why I have stuck around for as long as I have. Wow, that's the most honest I've been about that situation in awhile. He's probably thinking Thank God I don't have to deal with that crazy bitch anymore and I'm thinking Thank God he set me free again. I think it's just the passion in that relationship more than anything. The way I loved him is different than anything I have ever known and I think I am scared of never finding it again. Even though I know he's not the one, it's hard to let him go. I was crazy in love with him. It took the better part of a year to get over it, maybe longer. And I remember the exact moment I realized I didn't love him anymore. But now that he's around again I wonder if I ever stopped loving him really. Maybe that's why it's so hard to let him go again now. I thought this was our second chance, not at a relationship but as friends. One last selfish attempt on my part to feel that fire again. I never know what I'm doing wrong either. But I can't make someone want to be my friend or my boyfriend or my lover if they don't want to be. It doesn't matter what I think if they don't feel the same way. Better luck next time I guess.
Random Event Tip #1 - Enough about my brides, I have other events going on as well. Rarely as crazy as my brides though. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who tell me one day prior something that should have been brought to my attention months ago. Something important like seating should be included in your hour long emails about your event. At this point, it's no ones fault but yours. But somehow it's always mine.
Good night all- The Event Diva
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