Good Enough

I feel abandoned. Lost, like I am looking for something I will never find. I think I know that I will never talk to him again and yet I feel like there is hope. Probably not. It sucks to feel this way though. I realized tonight that he probably feels nothing, he is out partying, hitting on other girls. And I am stuck at home thinking about the nights that we had and the fun we had. I wonder if it was all in my head. Maybe I imagined that we had a connection. Maybe I imagined that I really liked him and that he was different. I blame myself mainly, I think that I let him in too quickly. I wanted so much to believe in him that I forgot about everything else. It seems so ridiculous, all the games and the playing and the back and forth. Yet we are punished if we as women stand up and say something about it. I think maybe my strength scared him away, maybe he is afraid of getting too close to someone like me. Mainly though, I just think its me. I wonder if I will ever be good enough. Not just for him, for my best friend, my sisters, my mom and dad, my boss. I am constantly trying and I'm not sure I'm ever good enough.