The city

I took a walk tonight with the dogs. I've been working on making some big changes to my life and my attitude. So I've adopted a new positive outlook on life. Or at least I'm trying too. I have been reading a lot lately too. You know I love the library. I've been reading every night and one of my books said to find something that makes you ecstatic and do it for at least 10 minutes a day. I've wanted to start taking a pictures again so tonight I grabbed the camera and I grabbed the dogs and we left. So I just walked and took pictures of anything and everything that struck me as beautiful or different. It's amazing what you can find when you wander a little out of your comfort zone. I had no idea some of the houses in my area were so pretty and old. Some of them you wouldn't even believe we were in Salem. So as you now know, love is usually not far from my mind. I am a very passionate person. I feel like I am one of the most honest people in the world. I never lie. I don't see the point in it. And I live my life like this is who I am, deal with it. But there is this whole other side of me that is a people pleaser too. But that is in my head, which is one of the things I've been trying to stop. All the self-doubt and inconsistencies in my head. I got off topic :) So I'm walking along thinking about my trip to Vegas coming up this weekend and how all the girls going with me but one are married or engaged and I feel some doubt in my head that that will ever happen to me. So I'm thinking about all this as I'm taking pictures and walking with my dogs. I realize now that this is what I've been wanting for as long as I can remember. When I was growing up in high school and just beginning to think about the future. I wanted to be independent, have a dog and a job and live in the alone in the city. While some girls dream of a wedding and a man, that has never been on my mind. Along my path I was thinking I was making mistakes, but really everything that I have done has led me right here. I realize now that I felt I tried and failed at moving to my city. But now I realize Seattle just wasn't where I was ready to be. Now I am living in my city, in my random, completely non cookie cutter apartment, walking my two dogs through interesting old houses downtown. I have been so blinded by everything else in life, I didn't even realize it til I embarked on this journey of self-discovery. I wasn't ready for love. I couldn't appreciate a relationship when I was looking for myself still. I feel like I get the best of both worlds because I get to still look forward to what the future has for me and I get to enjoy all this great single time alone. I may never get this back. I do believe in marriage. I believe that two people can find each other when they are ready and make a relationship to last. But I also believe you have to be ready for that relationship or it will never work.

Bridal tip of the day: I cannot repeat this enough, DO NOT get caught up in all of the meaningless details. Try to focus on the reality of the relationship and the commitment you are making. Really this should be the first great party you throw together on your long path of life.