Feelings

I've been thinking a lot lately about the situation with Hank. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I was being a big girl and taking things too seriously. But I think that at some point sex is always serious. I think that women always over think the situation, we are prone to thinking about what we did wrong and how we could have done things differently. I haven't called or text him since. I've thought about it, everyday. It's funny with Jordan, I couldn't stop myself from calling or texting, with Hank I can't bring myself too. I'm feeling good, happy and healthy. I miss him. But I think that it's unfair to expect things to go back to normal or to try again if my heart's not really in it. I think I'm scared because I have been able to put the feelings away as if they were make believe. I think maybe they were. True feelings don't go away as easily as I feel these have. Maybe it was all in my head. Maybe I'm just not willing to chance it. I don't want to ever feel the way that I did with him again. He hurt me and I guess that's all I need to know.