The illusion of relationships

I just had to say "It's not you, it's me" on a first date. It's getting to that. My dating life has got to that point. I'm not even going to continue the date, it stops here and I'm going home. Sometimes I think it's me that's the reason I'm still single. But then I see a really great couple come into my office. They are older a few years than me and I think this is what I'm waiting for, a relationship that is going to last. Guys are always worried that a woman is trying to trick them into a relationship. If I have to hear I'm not looking for a relationship one more time I am seriously going to punch the next guy in the balls. It's kind of like a polite way of saying I just want to get laid. So what they are really saying is I'm going to pretend it's going somewhere while the sex is good and until I find someone else I like better. I'm not a relationship person. I usually assume the role of the man. I don't want to talk about feelings or hang out every day. I love being alone. I really do. I think that guys think they don't want a relationship because it means being tied down. But they are all to willing to tie you down. Like with Buzz, he's free spirit because he likes to sleep around. But when I do it, I'm a big whore. Funny thing, I tamed down for him. Everyone who knows me knows, I'm not into relationships. It's too much work. I always know what I'm doing. How I'm feeling. What I'm thinking. I can't worry about someone else. It's too much. I think that women who know what they want and wont settle for less are really intimidating to a man. He thinks he's the cat's pajamas and when I don't feel the same he gets pissed and leaves for that girl who won't leave because she is actually holding on to the belief that one day it will just be the two of them. I think some people are just hopelessly single. Like me. I'm only dating married, engaged, or men with girlfriends from now on. That way I can send them home to their bitch when they start to piss me off. I don't have time to deal with your issues. I've got enough of my own.

PS. I just saw a couple riding a tandem bicycle and I threw up a little bit in my mouth.